The Resurrected Identity with Kelli Shaw | Rewire Your Brain & Renew Your Mind

Why do you self-sabotage right when things start working?
In episode 50, the first episode of Season 2 and the first under our new name, The Resurrected Identity with Kelli Shaw, Kelli explains how your conscious and subconscious mind drive your behavior, why your brain stays loyal to an old identity, and how neuroscience and faith come together to help you break the pattern.
If you are a woman over 40 who knows what to do but keeps pulling the emergency brake on your own life, this episode is for you.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What self-sabotage is and the most common ways it shows up
 
How your conscious mind and subconscious mind shape what you do every day
 
Why about 43% of daily actions run on habit, according to research from Duke University
 
What self-verification research reveals about why we push good things away
 
The rubber band metaphor and the GPS analogy for how identity pulls you back
 
What the twelve spies, the grasshoppers and Caleb teach us about identity
 
Three steps to start breaking the pattern this week
 
Why do I self-sabotage when I know what to do?
Self-sabotage is your brain staying loyal to an old identity. When your life moves past who you believe you are, your brain reads the unfamiliar as risk and pulls you back to what it knows.
How do I stop self-sabotaging?
Start by catching your exit, the move you make right when things start going well. Then find the belief behind it, your grasshopper sentence, and give your brain new evidence through one small action that matches the woman God created you to be.
What does the Bible say about self-sabotage?
In Numbers 13:33, ten of the spies said, "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes." Their identity turned an entire generation back from God's promise, while Caleb, who had "a different spirit," walked into it.
Scripture (NIV)
Numbers 13:33
Numbers 14:1
Numbers 14:24
Romans 12:2
Research mentioned
Wendy Wood, Duke University: habits in everyday life
William Swann: self-verification theory
Resources
Join our Facebook group and share your exit: facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588999984832
Join Kelli's email list: kelli-shaw.kit.com/32980db5e9
This episode is sponsored by SHIFT AI: shiftai.club
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You are loved, your are seen, you are not forgotten, and you are not too late. You can rise and I believe you will. Go gently, go boldly, and let your resurrection begin.

You can know what you want your life to look like and still feel unsure how to begin.
In this episode, Kelli explores four things that can support you as you practice an updated identity: a clear vision, a sense of safety, repetition, and evidence.
Drawing on Habakkuk 2:2, Kelli shares how to make your vision plain even when you do not know every step ahead. She also explains what it can mean for your body to feel safe while you try something new, and offers practical ways to meet uncertainty with steadiness and support.
Then, learn how to choose a small daily habit that expresses the identity you are practicing, connect it to a time and cue, and reframe the moment when you do not feel like beginning. Each action gives you experience to learn from and evidence you can recognize.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How to clarify your vision without having the entire path mapped out
What a sense of safety can feel like in the body
Ways to prepare for a new or uncomfortable action
How to choose a daily habit, set a time, and plan for resistance
How repeated actions create evidence for an updated identity
How identity shapes perception, perception dictates behavior, behavior drives actions, and actions produce outcomes
Try the listener exercise: Write the vision you are moving toward, name the identity you are practicing, choose one small action, set a time and cue, and record what you did as evidence.
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SHIFT AI
If you’re carrying a message, business, or ministry you’re ready to share, explore SHIFT AI through Kelli’s link.

Be, Do, Have: Are You Wanting It, or Are You Becoming Her?
"I want to own my own business" and "I am an entrepreneur" describe the same dream, but they feel completely different in your body, and your brain treats them differently too.
In this episode of The Resurrection Room, Kelli Shaw breaks down the Be, Do, Have principle and shows why so many accomplished women have been building their lives in the reverse order, waiting to have the money, the time, or the clients before they give themselves permission to become the woman who has them.
Kelli walks through what your brain does every time you say "I want," why your self-concept works as a prediction your behavior follows, and what research on identity-based motivation reveals about why some women keep going after a rejection while others decide the dream was never for them.
Then she takes you into Judges 6, where God calls Gideon a mighty warrior while he is hiding in a winepress, and shows how God has always spoken identity first.
In this episode:
Why Have, Do, Be keeps the life you want permanently out in front of you
The difference you can feel in your body between "I want" and "I am"
How your brain's prediction engine and reticular activating system respond to identity statements
Christopher Bryan's research on "voting" versus "being a voter," and Daphna Oyserman's work on identity-based motivation
The porch and the house: the difference between wanting a life and living inside it
The new nurse analogy, and why the identity comes before the evidence
Two women, one Saturday morning, and how identity shapes what we do with the same two hours
Gideon, called a mighty warrior while he was hiding, and the God who calls into being things that were not
Four mistakes that keep women stuck in wanting, including how to use a bridge statement when "I am" feels too far away
The Seven-Day Be, Do, Have Practice
Mentioned in this episode:
Lisa Feldman Barrett, research on the predictive brain
Christopher Bryan and colleagues, Stanford research on noun-based identity wording and voter turnout
Daphna Oyserman, identity-based motivation
Judges 6:12 (NIV): "When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, 'The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.'"
Romans 4:17 (NIV): "the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not."
This week's practice: The Seven-Day Be, Do, Have Practice
Day 1: Write one thing you have been wanting as an "I want" statement, then rewrite it as an "I am" statement. If it feels too far away, use a bridge statement that begins "I am a woman who..."
Day 2: List five small, specific things the woman in your "I am" statement does regularly.
Days 3 to 7: Speak your "I am" statement out loud each morning, complete one action from your list each day, and each evening write one sentence of evidence: "Today I lived as [your identity] when I [what you did]."
All week: Catch every "I want," "someday," and "once I have," and restate it from your new identity.
The Resurrection Room framework: Your identity shapes your perception, your perception dictates your behavior, your behavior drives your actions, and your actions produce your outcomes.
Join The Resurrection Room Facebook community, where women doing their own identity work share what they are learning and put these conversations into practice: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588999984832
Join the email list for deeper identity work, reflections, and resources between episodes: https://kelli-shaw.kit.com/32980db5e9
If this episode helped you, share it with the woman who has been saying "someday" for as long as you have known her, and leave a rating and review so The Resurrection Room can reach more women who are ready to rise.
The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw, where you rise to who you were always meant to be so you can live the life you were always meant to live.

Setting a goal can feel exciting, but excitement alone cannot carry you through the days when progress feels slow, doubt begins speaking, or an old pattern tempts you to stop.
In this continuation of Only 30 Days to an Entirely New Reality, Kelli explains how to turn a meaningful goal into a process you can follow. You will learn why achieving a goal requires both an execution plan and an identity plan and how these two plans work together to help you continue after the initial excitement fades.
Your execution plan identifies what you want to accomplish, the strategy you will use, the repeated actions that support it, and when those actions will happen. Your identity plan prepares you to recognize the beliefs, emotions, and behaviors that may surface as you begin asking more of yourself.
In this episode, you will learn:
The difference between a vision and a measurable goal
The four parts of an execution plan
How to choose a strategy that fits your current season
How to turn your intentions into scheduled, repeatable actions
Why every meaningful goal creates an identity question
How your language can reinforce an old identity or support a new one
How to prepare for the moment an old pattern appears
How to create evidence that strengthens the identity you are practicing
How to use an Evidence Book or Proof Journal during your 30-day practice
Your Exercise
Choose one meaningful goal and create two plans.
Execution Plan
What specific result am I working toward?
What strategy will I use?
What repeated actions does that strategy require?
When will I complete those actions?
Identity Plan
Who am I practicing being as I pursue this goal?
What old belief or behavior is likely to appear?
How will I respond when it appears?
What action can I complete today that creates evidence?
At the end of each day, record what you completed, what you learned, and one moment that reflects the identity you are practicing. Every completed action—and every decision to return after a missed day—becomes evidence.
Continue the Conversation
Download this episode so you can return to the exercise while creating your execution plan and identity plan.
Share it with a woman who has a meaningful goal and wants a practical way to continue working toward it.
Join Kelli’s email list for practical identity tools, episode updates, and conversations that will help you apply what you are learning:
Join the email list
Join The Resurrection Room Facebook group to continue the conversation, share your evidence, and connect with women who are practicing new ways of thinking, responding, and living:
Join the Facebook group
If this episode served you, please leave a written review and a rating. Your words help other women understand what they can expect from The Resurrection Room, and your rating helps more listeners discover the podcast.
You are loved, you are seen, you are not forgotten, and you are not too late. You can rise and I believe you will. Go gently. Go boldly. And let your resurrection begin.

What would you practice today if you truly knew you could grow into the person you’ve been praying to become?
You may have a goal that keeps coming back to your heart, even as familiar doubts influence how you approach it. In this episode, we explore how your beliefs about yourself shape your decisions and how intentional daily actions can help you begin building a different understanding of who you are.
I’m sharing four practices to bring into the next thirty days: choosing one meaningful goal, protecting your attention, responding thoughtfully to doubt, and expressing gratitude through action. Together, we’ll connect faith, identity, and the everyday choices that give your growth a place in your life.
In this episode, we explore:
How to identify the deeper reason behind your goal so you have something meaningful to return to when following through becomes inconvenient.
How comparison and other people’s opinions can pull your attention away from your own progress.
A simple practice for pausing, naming your concern, and choosing your next step when doubt appears.
How confirmation bias can reinforce familiar beliefs and cause you to overlook evidence of your growth.
How identity statements become more meaningful when you connect them to specific actions.
Faith, prayer, and Mark 11:24, with reflection on how you live after you have prayed.
How gratitude and a flexible approach can support your next steps.
Your thirty-day practice
Choose one goal, write down why it matters, and identify the person you want to practice being as you work toward it. Each day, choose a manageable action, decide when you’ll complete it, and record what you did and learned. Review your progress weekly and make adjustments as needed.
Keep this question with you: “What would I practice today if I truly knew I could grow into the person I’ve been praying to become?”
 
Continue listening
How to Rewire Your Subconscious Mind and Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs for Good
Let’s stay connected
Join our Email list and Facebook group and tell us the goal you’re choosing and the identity you’re practicing through it. I would love to hear what you’re working toward.
 
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61588999984832
 
Email list:  https://kelli-shaw.kit.com/32980db5e9
 
If this conversation encouraged you, follow The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw, download the episode, leave a rating and written review, and share it with someone you thought of while listening. Thank you for helping other women find their way into the room.
You are loved, you are seen, you are not forgotten, and you are not too late… Go gently. Go boldly. And let your resurrection begin.

Before anyone told you who you were, something was already true about you.
So where does identity begin?
In this episode of The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw, Kelli goes beneath the labels, roles, accomplishments, failures, and survival patterns we often mistake for identity.
We explore the difference between original identity and acquired identity, including how experiences become interpretations, interpretations become beliefs, and repeated beliefs become part of the way we see ourselves.
You’ll hear how this process connects to Kelli’s identity framework:
Identity shapes your perception.Your perception dictates your behavior.Your behavior drives your actions.Your actions produce your outcomes.
The problem begins when the identity driving this cycle was formed through rejection, fear, comparison, financial struggle, criticism, abandonment, or the need to earn love and approval.
A belief such as “my voice causes problems,” “I’m bad with money,” “I never finish anything,” or “I have to hold everything together” starts as a conclusion. After enough repetition, it begins to feel like personality.
But what if the identity you’ve practiced isn’t the identity you were created to carry?
In this episode, we explore:
How acquired identities form through childhood, relationships, experiences, and repetition
Why an experience and the meaning you assign to the experience are two different things
How identity influences what you notice, expect, avoid, and pursue
Why old identities keep producing familiar outcomes
The connection between purpose and identity
What Scripture teaches about being known and formed by God before receiving the opinions of others
How to separate who you are from who you learned to become
How to begin living from a purpose-rooted identity without pretending you’ve already mastered everything
You’ll also receive a two-list reflection exercise for identifying the beliefs and labels you acquired, tracing where they began, and naming the deeper qualities connected to who you believe you were created to be.
This week, ask yourself:
Who was I before I learned to evaluate myself through other people’s responses?
What remains true about me when nobody is applauding?
What does my purpose reveal about my identity?
And where did I learn the beliefs I’ve been calling “who I am”?
Your purpose didn’t appear when you finally became confident enough to pursue it.
And the woman equipped to carry it didn’t appear yesterday.
She has been there from the beginning.
Scripture referenced:Jeremiah 1:5Psalm 139
Follow The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw, so you don’t miss an episode.
Join the FACEBOOK COMMUNITY and EMAIL LIST through the links in the show notes.
If this episode encouraged you, share it with another woman who needs this conversation and leave a rating and review to help more women find The Resurrection Room with Kelli Shaw.
You are loved. You are seen. You are not forgotten. And you are not too late.
Go gently. Go boldly. And let your resurrection begin.